Swan Blessing Story - Releasing the Burden of Past Life Guilt

How many of our gifts and natural skills are we holding back in this lifetime because of mistakes made in past lives? For Emily it was her natural ability as a leader and wise man that became bound when in leading people away from war she found she did not have the skills to help them all survive in the wild. When she lost the person that she loved most in that lifetime, she blamed herself and created a very strong binding vow upon her spirit in this lifetime - the Vow to Never Lead Again. In moments of trauma, fear and remorse we often make promises and vows to our own spirits that carry heaving binding. When we create theses Sacred Contracts we may believe in them so deeply that we carry their binding energy into our next incarnations. These kinds of vows and promises carry a heavy burden of shame and guilt and a deep sense of unworthiness to live a happy and peaceful life - indeed for some it is hard to feel worthy to be living at all.

It is not my belief that we are here to 'make amends' or be punished for the mistakes of past lifetimes - I do not believe in 'bad karma'. I see each lifetime as an opportunity to be conscious in each moment and to do our best. This does not mean we have to be perfect, we are all learning. It means to recognise when we have made mistakes, to learn from them and to choose differently next time we are in a similar situation. It is important not feel regret and guilt about the past - whether it be from past lifetimes or a more recent event from your current lifetime. Let it go and open your heart to the opportunities to be your Authentic True Self that await in the PRESENT moment. Every morning is a new birth, a new lifetime - full of choice and possibility. By embracing life as a mystery that keeps unfolding, you are letting go of needing to 'know' or to be 'right', letting go of carrying the burden of guilt and shame for events that cannot be changed. We must learn compassion for ourselves and embrace our Life Path as a journey to Wisdom and in doing so we will also be more accepting of the diverse paths of others.

I first heard from Emily when she sent me her Swan Story: Awakening the Black Serpent after journeying in the Swan Blessing Past Life circles that I held at Seven Sisters Festival. And to accompany her story, she sent me the most incredible collage artworks - it was a wonderful way to experience Emily's story on a very visual and deep level. It really touches my heart when I hear of people creating in any capacity after they journey with Swan Medicine - I believe creativity and opening visionary gifts is another 'wing' of the Swan Medicine after clearing past life binds. 

Recently I got to meet Emily in person when she travelled to Sherbrooke Forest to journey again with Swan.  Emily discovered that in the next lifetime she was a Scholar, living like a Hermit away from the world on top of a mountain. When she looked into his face she felt such love for this gentle soul but it was love that he could not feel for himself. 

"I see and hear so many birds on my way to the forest and I immediately feel the wild swan’s wings wrap around me when Julia welcomes me under the chestnut tree. It feels so safe and gentle. My heart sighs.
I easily slip into my mindstream, into the green of the forest where the water is calling to my heart. I let my heart lead me to the water and look deep into the still pool. I see an ancient face, tanned and wrinkled like the face of an old tree. Clear blue eyes crinkled at the edges with kindness. Is it a man or a woman? It doesn’t matter. I feel so much love and wisdom. As a hand reaches through the water to take mine I see it is an old man’s hand. He takes me across the threshold. Everything feels so easy and gentle. I let my heart follow. 

I walk behind him on a faint forest track, meandering through sun and shade, slowly winding up a mountainside. I feel how connected he is to this world, how the plants and animals and the richness of the earth pass through him on a cellular level. He is totally at one with his surroundings. He is the forest and the forest is him. He is filled with this knowing in his being. 

We reach the mountaintop. It is rocky and windy and wild. An eagle glides above us, just out of sight but a part of our interaction all the same. He is showing me the view…a ruined city far below. Just rubble and tumbled down towers and charred remains of what was once great. He is heavy hearted. It was his home. He has lost so much and been alone for so long. 

He shows me his happy childhood in the city...playing on the floor in a sunlit tower, learning to read and write with a loving tutor, growing into a wise scholar and advisor to the king. This king is his friend and like a brother. But he is a ruthless and brutal leader. He brings chaos, destruction, war and famine to his city. My wise and gentle scholar, he cannot change this man, he has failed, his advice has led to this ruin. 

He shows me how he fled the burning city, leading a small group of people to safety across the mountain. But he did not know the forest then. It was a long difficult journey and they were weak and starving. He didn’t know how or what to feed them. He was a city man and had never killed an animal in his life. Many of the people died on this journey because of his lack of knowledge.

We look into the face of a woman as she dies. He loves her, she is his one love that he never fully acknowledged or had time to appreciate. She whispers her love, her patience and forgiveness as she dies. She tells him her child is his daughter, please take care of her. When she passes, he is so desolate and alone. He takes the remaining people to the safety of a village and wanders away into the mountain forest. He will live as a hermit forever. He is responsible for so much death and destruction. He vows to never lead his people to harm. He will never be a leader again. This binding weighs as a heavy stone in his/my heart. 

I see his home in the forest, a simple wooden hut, cosy and full of books and dripping candles to light his long nights alone. He is writing, writing, filling so many pages. He is recording histories, forest wisdom, his deep knowing. He will share this so that no one need die or suffer for lack of knowledge. His daughter visits him here in the forest. She loves him so much and understands his heavy heart. She has the same energy as my mother in this life…such a wise, big hearted woman (who I can share so much time with now, healing the loss in his life). 

I am back beside the deep still pool. I let go of the stones in my heart. A sister of the well hands me a clear crystal to crush these stones. They smash into dust and blow away with the breeze. She guides me into the pool, it is warm, thick. It is no longer water but blood. I curl up in the heart-womb that the pool has become and the other sisters join the first, so that nine of them surround me. They peel back the veils that are wrapped so tightly around me, they peel back my skin. They remove all the bindings and heaviness that surrounds my heart and then slowly drift away so I am alone in the warm pool. I AM FREE. I feel my open heart beating. It says “I am a true and shining guide”. 

I see my past-self smiling at me from the forest. His wife and daughter have come for him. He is light hearted and FREE. Then I feel myself pulled upward with the wind. I feel the lightness and strength of my huge wings spread wide…I am the eagle, soaring and drifting above the mountaintop, visioning the world."  EMILY 2013

Thank you Emily for sharing your Swan Stories and art so generously it was an honour to guard the threshold as you reclaimed your Wild Wisdom again. 

And Emily has just informed me that she will now be teaching this beautiful art process and if you would like to learn how to make your own Collage for the Soul, Emily is holding an Introductory Workshop on Sunday 23rd June at the Mindful Wellness Centre. You can find out all of the details through Emily at emilymorter@ymail.com or phone: 0402 672 482. 

Collage created by Emily Morter after her Past Life Swan Blessing