Tarot Spread: The Shadow that Hides Your Medicine - Illuminating the Cosmic Child

mt donna buang I don't know about you but I've been fighting an inner demon since that last super moon. She shone a big silver spotlight into the darkest cave and I have been feeling something moving back there ever since. But I've been too afraid to look. When I think of the moon I'm always aware of shadow and light and that the moon often helps us to illuminate what we might normally miss or deny. This made me think about the power of that super moon travelling closest to the earth and how we are made up of so much water - how could we not be influenced by her magnetic pull?

For the last 10 days I have been feeling anxious and sad. There have been so many tragic events taking place in the world. And I have felt SCARED! That's a really hard thing to admit isn't it?  That we can feel so scared especially about something that we can't even name. I've noticed this happening in my close friends as well. All of us spinning in our own orbit, distracted and well, a bit lost. I kept hearing myself and my friends asking, 'Is this it? Is this really how we are meant to be living, just working to survive?' Survival fears are our most primal and overwhelming. I couldn't help it they just kept returning each day. At the same time I was also hearing my friends talk about the afterlife, near death experiences and even their own memories of heaven. What if the moon shone a light on ways that we are now living that are hurting our spirits?  What if She came to illuminate our shadows so that we had to face them and begin to make the changes needed to live in a way that is meaningful and nourishing? Did a deep part of us remember these ancient and sacred times again since her visit? There is so much in western society that actively shuts down access to the mystery and to consciousness but that is becoming a door that will not stay closed. We are seeking again.

winter solstice medicine doll

Last night, Tony and I drove with Fox up to the top of Mt. Donna Buang to visit the natural spring that we love so much. It was dusk and as we climbed higher and higher we noticed chunks of ice and snow. It was a magical sight to see the spring surrounded by snow - a soft, white pillow for the medicine doll that I left behind as a gift to the next visitor of the spring. She was made at Winter Solstice and my wish was that she would be found by someone who really needed to remember that there is magic and mystery in this world. And I prayed to the spring and the spirits of the water and land that take care of it. I asked them to please help me. I didn't want to feel so tired and lost any more.

This morning I woke up early and began to feel the gnawing pain of fear again and I'd had enough! I got out my tarot cards and decided I would look at this fear - head on. I laid out my owl wing fan and whale bone, the wisdom and record keepers, and Touchstone Tarot deck designed by Kat Black who I'd had the honour to meet with years ago. I created a new Tarot spread: looking at the scary! What was that dark shape moving there at the back of the cave? I wanted to create a reading to help me to finally name and know my deepest fear. What I discovered were old beliefs and behaviours I was almost embarrassed to own but once I did I found they were hiding my greatest treasure – my gifts and my medicine. Treasure that felt so precious I was afraid to let it out fully into the world, to be scrutinised and judged. And who was holding this treasure – a radiant child! I call her the Cosmic Child – the one who has known my gifts and talents and medicine for lifetimes and is here to remind of them again.

Whatever way you choose to illuminate your shadow and face your fears, I encourage you to be brave! Go for it! There is nothing worse than living in fear and nothing better than knowing exactly who you are and how to help yourself feel better, stronger, free. So I can truthfully say that today I am in gratitude and awe at that mighty crystalline orb and what felt like the scariest 10 days I’ve had for a long, long time. Dear SisterMoon, thank you for your light! Cosmic Child I look forward to playing with you again wise creature.

facing fears tarot reading

Card positions and meanings (reading from bottom to top):

Position 1. (Bottom card) What Is: Position 2. What is your Scary: Position 3. Why is this so frightening: Position 4. The Old Belief that is feeding the Scary: Position 5. The New Practice that allow you to be an open channel for love and to shine without fear.

Sometimes when we are emotionally overwhelmed or feeling blocked it can be hard to navigate and interpret our own readings, if you would like assistance you can book a reading with Julia


Testimonials for Shining a Light on the Scary – Illuminating the Cosmic Child Readings

My session with Julia got to the core of my reason for being on this Earth! It also shone a light on my deepest woundings,  that hold me back from being the person I am, from living my highest potential and Blessed life. It was the story of this life time, revealing the myths and the truths for what they really were. I loved the reading, it gave me so much clarity and freedom to live the blessed version of my life, not the afraid and lonely version.. Shining forth!
(Shining a Light on the Scary – facing our fears Tarot session)


‘I had been in lockdown, scared to move either way for some unknown fear that was clawing in the pit of my stomach. I was feeling melancholy and having overwhelming thoughts, questioning everything I stood for and struggling with my life path. Julia’s reading unlocked answers on a cosmic level. In her shadow reading with me I got to face this fear with Julia’s assistance and found out that what I truly feared more than anything else was being myself and shining. I know right?! I feared owning my medicine, truly owning it.

It was time to come out of the cave and offer my medicine to all, rather than to a select few. I had been dulling myself down so as not to gain attention. Trying to contain my energy rather than share it. It was time to come out and that’s why I was afraid. Julia touched on a past life issue of a fear of persecution, fear of judgement from others – it has led me to wanting to ‘fit in’, wanting to be liked and normal (oh the horror). My fear was of showing my power and being ridiculed for my light. Fear of being labelled a show off. Fear of being noticed.

I am a healer, nurse, wise woman, witch, death walker and death doula. I walk between worlds and I have for as long as I remember. I’m the one holding your blood and guts in my hands. I’m the one with you as you take your last breath. Julia’s shadow reading was like being given a mirror to hold up to my face and there was no escape. It showed me the past, my shadow and the deepest locked away feelings and memories that I held at my core. Knowing and facing these fears helped me to step through them to embrace all that I am.’

Bec Rainbowalker, Nurse and Death Doula 2014

(Shining a Light on the Scary – facing our fears Tarot session)


crystal ball

New Moon Stasis

Sherbrooke Forest 

Sometimes we have a lot of expectation of the New Moon. It's as if we think it will suddenly transform us and our world in one magical moment. But of course that's just us being human and wanting transformation to always come easy and quickly. I was waiting for that kind of change this morning with the Gemini New Moon and when it didn't happen I was perplexed. I've been in a low mood during the recent Dark Moon and I kept getting the same message over and over - to make no move - not that I would listen! Instead of just surrendering, relaxing and doing nothing, just like my daily readings with the Tarot kept advising me, I kept pushing and striving - trying to make change happen. Why do we find it so hard to do nothing? Or why do we think nothing is happening just because it doesn't look like it is or because we can't see it with our eyes. I decided to go for a walk in the forest to shake off the heaviness and today the trees were shrouded completely in mist. I couldn't see very far ahead at all. And the whole forest was absolutely silent under the mist and yet I was acutely aware of the Life that filled the forest. The air was thick with life and it was moving silently all around me. I was reminded of how we are standing on the brink of Winter and how much the trees and animals slow down in this time to preserve energy and hibernate.


I've decided to take a deeper look into decision making and how we can become more accepting in times of quiet and stasis in our lives in our Tarot workshop, Tarot of a WaterWitch, tomorrow night. I'm eager to remember the art of doing nothing!  Yesterday I created a spread to help in times of hard decision making, a spread that we can use when there are a several of paths or choices to take. These times often feel like we are standing at the centre of some divine crossroads.  And usually this is where we can get very blocked and afraid of taking the next step - as if there is ever really a wrong or right step to take. Yesterday I included a new path choice into the Tarot spread. It is the choice to 'do nothing'. I'm interested to see what happens when this choice comes up for the readers tomorrow. I will share the ins and outs of this spread to subscribers on Saturday - so if you would like to receive it, you can add your email address to the Subscriber box in the top right hand corner or email me at swanweaver@gmail.com

The photo below is of the New Moon Crossroads Spread and in this photo you will see a curly-topped bell sitting beside the spread. This bell was created by a beautiful sister Sadie, as a trade for a medicine doll for her mother. Sadie created the magical saggar fired bell to help find what is lost - not necessarily objects. It was fired with seaweed, mango leaves and sawdust from a camphor laurel tree. I placed it beside my own Tarot reading to understand and find my sense of nothingness or no-time. I know what this feels like and I'm looking forward to remembering how to step back into no-time again.

And the photo below of the 2 black swans is for anyone feeling that they are riding difficult and deep waves tonight. Neptune is such a strong influence at the moment and is really affecting us water-beings. These 2 creature-teachers look so calm and still and yet on the day I took this photo near our old home in Williamstown, they were swimming in the middle of a raging storm.

Love to you all, however you find yourself tonight, it's all ok. Make a New Moon wish and set it free x

Saggar fired bell by Sadie Jean Tansey
New Moon Crossroads Spread with Gaian Tarot
Gaian Tarot - Four of Water: Time to fill your own well
Gaian Tarot - The Tree (Hanged Man) Letting Go

Creature-Teachers: Black Swans - calm in the storm

Patricia Ariel - 78 Tarot


If you've seen our posters and flyers, most of them feature the artwork of our dear sister, Patricia Ariel. Patty and I became friends many years ago and I can't even remember how or why but I have a feeling that the tarot may have had something to do with it. I would say it is because the tarot is so intrinsic to both our paths that we were already speaking a similar language. And so it is wonderful news to hear that Patricia has been asked to contribute to a new deck called 78 Tarot - not just because she is such a talented and visionary artist but because she is a tarot medicine woman.

Many of us have been students of the tarot for years and years and guess what? We will always remain a student of tarot. It is a mesmerising and never-ending mystery - thank goodness. We can never know it all. I love that tarot keeps us all on an even playing field and yet hands us keys and secrets that are always so personal and true. I have recently been called back again to teach tarot after almost 2 years break but in this time I have always kept reading for myself everyday. I have found that when I have a break from reading for others it is usually to learn more about myself and then to apply this again. Perhaps it's a time for another veil to fall away...to reveal the next veil and yet another.

I can't wait to see how Patricia and the rest of the artists of 78 Tarot interpret this beautiful and magical craft. Here is a little of Patricia's interview about drawing from the tarot. You can read the full interview and learn more about this new deck at http://www.seventy-eight-tarot.com/eight-of-cups-by-patricia-ariel/

I am fairly familiar with the tarot, although I am always learning something new. The tarot is an essential part of my spiritual path and a connection to other symbolic languages and traditions which I also learn from. It concentrates knowledge in many different levels, and being also an “art”, in the sense that its interpretation will depend on the view of a particular reader, it has a very intimate connection with the realm of symbols that generates art as creation. My art in itself is full of “bits” of the tarot symbolism so drawing an actual tarot card feels just natural.
The Eight of Cups speaks of one of the recurrent themes in my artwork, which is transformation and renewal. It is about leaving a situation you’ve been emotionally tied and accommodated to for a long time, but that has represented only stagnation. And then you finally recognize that situation as being harmful to your evolution and decides to do something to change that. Personally I don’t have a lot of difficulty getting rid of situations of discomfort, even if they are tied to other kinds of gain, so by working on this card I hope to understand better what this struggle represents. Read more

Tarot of a WaterWitch - Tarot Workshop in the Forest at New Moon on Friday 30th May. (details) The focus in this tarot workshop will be on recognising the Seer in our own Ancestral Medicine. Breaking through old beliefs and negative thinking to create new pathways of change for ourselves and our loved ones. We are the new Keepers of the Tarot - sharing the keys with love and compassion.

Horse Moon Spirit Doll Giveaway

Horse Moon

And here she is, Horse Moon, still becoming... I began her last night in the Full Moon and I will continue to weave her up until the New Moon birth of the Year of the Horse on 30th January. If you book for a Threshold Karmic Tarot reading in January you will go into the draw to win her and I hope she brings you much abundance and creativity in 2014. Inside her tummy are many herbs and flowers but her main medicines are Bee Pollen to pollinate your Golden Dreams and Arnica Flowers - known to witches as Wolf Flower to keep your wild Wolf Heart. Good luck seekers of the Wild love to you for your Full Moon Dreaming x

Threshold Karmic Tarot Reading bookings. 

Threshold Tarot Reading & Plant Medicine Spirit Doll Giveaway

Horse Moon Spirit Doll - to be given away on 1st February

Hail dreamers, well met.

How are you all feeling in this month of Integration as we shed the last skin of the Water Snake? January can feel like a confusing month, we are feeling the pull towards the new dreams but we are also still feeling the massive shifts and unfoldings of the last year - especially such a momentous year like 2013.

I created the Threshold Shamanic Tarot spread to help uncover and integrate the karmic lessons and gifts of the Year of the Witch - 2013. Many of you have written to me to tell me how much it has helped you and that makes me very happy. For those of you who may want assistance to understand the full wisdom of this spread I will be taking Threshold sessions to work deeply with this unfolding - not only processing the karmic lessons and gifts of this life but also extending the reading out to encompass past life lessons and teachings.

For the next 2 weeks before the New Moon I will be offering shamanic Threshold Tarot readings in person, by Skype and telephone. The readings will unfold in 4 levels:
1. What the Spirit of 2013 meant for you it's deepest teachings and the binding beliefs of the past that you had to release to grow and receive your medicine gifts.
2. The work needed to be done in January - the last skin to shed with the Water Snake.
3. What the Spirit of 2014 means for you, the area of your life that will undergo the most transformation and the practice that will help you to be most present and open to your purpose.
4. Past Life behaviours and beliefs that are calling to be released now to embrace the evolving Spirit.

Plant Medicine Spirit Doll Giveaway: 

Tomorrow night at Full Moon I will create a Plant Medicine Doll that will be completed on the night of the New Moon and birth of the Year of the Wooden Horse. For all who book a Threshold Reading, you will go into the draw to win this one New Moon New Year Horse Spirit Doll.

Threshold Readings are $100 for 1 hour session and they can be done by Skype, Phone or in person : bookings

Threshold Tarot Reading Booking

The Gingko Witch has found her Sister

The winner of the Gingko Witch medicine doll is Sarah of Embodiments Dance! Congratulations Sarah - I think She is very happy to be coming to live with a dancing Medicine WOman. Thank you for everyone who took part and all of the new subscribers.  How did you go with your Threshold Tarot readings? I hope you received lots of clarity and assistance for the new Dream.

Subscriber Solstice Giveaway - Threshold Tarot Spread and Medicine Doll

Threshold - a Solstice Tarot Spread

Hello beautiful friends we hope you have subscribed (Subscribe box is just up in the right hand corner of this page). If you subscribe to the website by tomorrow morning you will receive the Threshold Tarot spread you see above with full instructions on how to best integrate the shifting energy of Water Snake to Wooden Horse 2013-2014 and you will also  go into the draw to win The Gingko Witch medicine doll. Some of you may have already received your Tarot spread - happy journeys into the cards and dreamworlds tonight and I will let you know who will become the sister to Gingko Witch tomorrow x

The Gingko Witch Medicine Doll

Deepening with Mikailah and The School of Shamanic Midwifery

Mikailah and I heading down to the Deepening

I am still landing here in the forest after the Deepening Retreat with The School of Shamanic Midwifery. My deepest thanks to my sister witch and shamanic astrologer, Mikailah, Jane Hardwicke Collings the amazing founder and creatrix of The School of Shamanic Midwifery and mermaid teachers, Talulah and Kristan for all of your graceful assistance and love. And to all of the sisters who joined us in the Deep as we journeyed with the Wild Swan - thank you from the bottom of my heart.

It was truly a gift to hold this Swan Blessing dreaming pool with such a dear friend as Mikailah and together we brought our elements of Fire and Water to the unbinding of the Witch and her medicine and also her freedom.

What an amazing year 2013 has been, what a great shedding of the old skin in the Year of the Water Snake. Blessings and love to all around the world who are preparing to travel and share their love next year. You Are Free.

Here is a link to all of Kristan's photos from The Deepening.







The Tarot Weavers - Seer's Return

The Seer by Tammy Mae Moon
This weekend will hold a Swan Blessing circle for the return of the Art of Seership and unbinding of beliefs and vows blocking access to Oracular Divination. In my family, the ability to See is strong but has not always been believed to be a gift. My intention in holding this circle is that we come to know the natural beauty and wisdom of our spirit when it acts as Oracle. As Oracle we will journey back into the past to clear any obstructing beliefs or fears before opening ourselves to create a Medicine Weaver Tarot reading as a way to quest towards our medicine. We will learn ways to release the past and receive assistance in holding and sharing our own unique ancestral wisdom. We will read both for ourselves and for each other. 
This circle is open to all sisters. You do not need to have any experience of the Tarot, we will be journeying and reading purely from our intuition and open heart.
Please let me know if you wish to join us, you will need to bring your own Tarot deck of choice. 
The two decks I will be sharing are The Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert and