Swan Blessing Past Life Story - Vow to Not Use Her Medicine

Very often the vow that comes up to be released in Swan Blessing past life sessions is the vow to close down or reject our personal ancestral medicine. This can be very confusing in our present incarnation as we will still be drawn, and deeply passionate about our medicine but will find it very hard to embrace and share with others - especially if we try and embrace it as our vocation again. It creates pain, confusion and fear of something that should be treasured and celebrated - our natural gifts and power.

Many moons ago I used to teach tarot circles to help others to trust their intuition and to develop their own individual way of reading and sensing messages from the cards. I was always blown away by the beautiful readers who came to develop their gifts with us and I remember these years of sitting in tarot circles very fondly. Recently I was contacted by Candice, a student I remembered well, requesting a Swan Blessing past life session. I remembered Candice so well because she was one of the most naturally gifted readers Tony and I had ever spent time with - a very gifted seer. But there was an internal battle going on within Candice and I could see this too - she was afraid of her gifts.

Candice told me that she had recently begun to offer her service of tarot reading to the public. I was thrilled for her because this has been such a long time coming and she is so good! But she then told me how much anxiety she felt when having to give difficult news to her clients. I explained to her that a reader is merely an interpreter for the cards and that often in our life the difficult times are our biggest teachers and assist huge shifts towards growth. That I am always grateful when my cards inform me that it's time to release an old dream that doesn't serve or that I am about to go through a period of understanding my fears. The reader's role is not to give a sugar-coated sweet reading every time as that would be false and is not a true reflection of life and the sacred circle of birth, death and rebirth that we go through each day just like every cell of our body.

While Candice understood this on a mental level she said she could still feel something very deep and fearful about one day having to be the 'bearer of bad news'.

This is Candice's Swan Blessing story of the past life events that created these old beliefs and fears:

"I decided to have a Swan Blessing to discovering the blocks I have in becoming a tarot reader. For such a long time I had wanted to start my tarot business but could not find the courage to. I had so many fears going into it. I have tried to give tarot up so many times before with many times throwing out my decks, my notes and any books I had on the tarot. But for some reason I keep feeling drawn to it. It’s like a bad habit that I keep being pulled into despite my efforts to stop.

This journey into my Swan blessing was truly a blessing. As I closed my eyes and relaxed I felt the presence of my family, ancestors and spirit guides with me in the room as I went completely within myself. I could feel myself travel back in time.

I was directed to a lake and in this lake I saw a Native American with long black hair, at first I couldn't tell if it was a male or female then I realised it was a young male. He was 24 years old. He was me and I was him. I asked him what is it that is blocking me in reaching my full potential. With a hardness in his eyes he could not tell me like he had shut it off from his heart, instead he took me on a little canoe across the water. He was pointing to the other side of the mountain. He left me on the other side of the river and I walked to the other side of the mountain by myself as he did not want to come.

As I went there and walked on the land it was so hard for me to see what was there. There was so much smoke lingering around. It was all grey and white before me and the tents that remained were just ashy. As I realised who's village this was my eyes filled with tears as I realised that this was my own village. My village was attacked and destroyed.

I was then shown what I did in this life time. I was the seer of the tribe. Elders who held leadership within the tribe came to me for guidance for the tribe. I could not believe that those who were so much older than I held me in such high regard. I used a crystal of some sort to foresee future events. I was guided to see what I saw in that lifetime. I foresaw the tragic event of the destruction of my village long before it happened and I did not tell anyone as I wanted to be wrong and I wanted the best for my people.

When I saw that I actually foresaw the event happening my eyes welled up again and I had such a heaviness in my chest. I felt heartbroken. I felt helpless with so much guilt for what happened. Something that I could have prevented but I didn’t.

As a punishment for myself in that life time I isolated myself from everyone and everything. I lived alone in a cave until I was a very old man and died alone in my cave and I never spoke to anyone again. I never practised any more magic or seer again in that life time as it was too hard for me. I punished myself for what had happened.

My blessing allowed me to be with the man that I was, I told him that this was not his fault and he only wanted the best. I also told him that I will make this right in this life time. I got it. I understood all his fear, pain and sadness because I feel it in my current life time. All the times I read for others all the readings I have sent out the process of when I do readings all of the pain and anxiety was so familiar because it was all mine. The pain I have held onto that long has allowed me to suppress my gifts because I was still too scared to hurt another person.

For such a long time I had all these anxieties when doing readings and everything finally made sense. I had a fear for reading people older than me, I also had a fear when turning over the cards I saw just in case I saw something that was not favourable. I would actually stress for who I am reading for.

Now I have learnt with Julia and this Swan blessing that the not great things I see in a reading can actually be of benefit. Now when I read I have such an inner confidence within me. I feel confident that I am doing exactly what I should be doing and I don't fear the reading like I used to. This doesn’t mean I still don't have normal anxiety but I have an inner knowing that I came here to earth with this ability and to share it. I love my tarot readings and love helping people and now know that I have the ability to do so. And now I will with the confidence that I was actually born to do this!

Thank you Julia for allowing me to go on this journey back to myself. You have given me a gift that I will forever be grateful for. You have given me the confidence to truly believe in my inner strengths and abilities from lifetimes before. A confidence of knowing my true abilities and purpose and why I am here. Forever grateful to you and your gifts. Thank you."

Candice 2016, The Blessed Path Within

I am thrilled to hear Candice speak and write these words. Her gifts are beautiful and she brings such insight and clarity to her readings and now she can share them with a strong and open heart.

It is a terrible feeling to be withholding our natural gifts - to be afraid of our personal medicine. I'm very happy to see that there is a new respect and opening at this present time for the holding of circle together, ceremony and the intuitive arts. We are learning to break through our fears and release old beliefs that do not fit or belong to us in this time and often our biggest fear is our own power. I thank the great grandmothers who come to assist us in Swan Blessing, they remind us all that not too long ago our ancestors used and shared their medicine with love.

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Image: Medicine drum from 'Shapeshifting : Transformations in Native American Art' - Peabody Essex Museum

The Witch's Daughter - Past Life Vow to Remain Alone

Witches' Wood by Bertrand H. Wentworth

Swan Blessing is the past life and ancestral healing work that I began 7 years ago to help clear and heal the memories and ancestral trauma of the 'burning times' upon our ancestors and ourselves. The memory or soul loss created by witnessing events where women have been persecuted for simply being healers and connected to the earth and her plants or even carrying these memories from our ancestors in our DNA can create many kinds of problems in our present lives. The most common feeling is anxiety, but it can also manifest as a kind of sensation of being stuck and unable to move because in a way we remember what happened to the women who stood out, were different. The biggest crime of all is that it has conditioned us to believe it is safer to stay on the edge of the 'mystery', to never step back through the veil. 

Today I share Alex' Swan Blessing story of the witch's daughter and her vow to remain alone. When I read this story in full it had a profound effect on me because she was speaking from the heart about issues that were so personal and painful for her. I loved her retelling and the honesty, the raw guts and all approach to her life! Thank you Alex for reminding me that this journey with the collective is also personal and individual - we cannot compare it to anyone else's experience and the worst thing we can do is try to 'fit in'. Alex is also speaking honestly about the healing process and how it is often like peeling layers away - good and deep healing takes time. Most importantly I am so happy to see that now Alex is alone when she chooses to be alone and that she is MAGNIFICENT! 

With her story also came gifts of healing water gathered at the Fairy Pools on the Isle of Skye in Scotland where she was the only one crazy enough that day to swim in those freezing waters and from the Chalice Well in Glastonbury. When Alex arrived for her session I didn't know that she was about to embark on this journey, but as soon as she chose tarot cards from the Gaian Tarot by Joanna Powell Colbert (an amazing deck that I find perfect for past life work) her destination was right there in front of her in vivid colour. The cards asked Alex 'are you going to always sit on the edge of the mystery daughter? How long can you keep yourself apart, a step away from joy?' Here is her answer.

Swan Blessing reading with the Gaian Tarot before Alex journeyed with the Swan

"This has taken me a while to write. Soon after my Swan Blessing with Julia, I wrote some notes to remember my encounter. But to write it out fully, is to release it. And I haven’t been ready to do that. Until now. I very much enjoy wallowing in my pain and misery, observing it, letting it twist my insides until my anxiety levels peak. It’s quite sadistic, I know. But I learn from it, as long as I acknowledge it. Which takes a while. After I wallow, I ignore all the self-inflicted pain and become destructive until I am ready to face the truth. I am a big advocate of 'ignorance is bliss'. Yet the problem is, this no longer works for me. I know too much, have felt too much to be ignorant to my desires, passions and ultimately the light and dark of my being. Which was why I went to see Julia.

I arrived at Julia's home on the second day of spring, full of promise, hope, doubt and a little worried. Throughout the year, I have been doing a lot of soul searching, trying to understand my nature, patterns I repeat and my shadow aspect which I have a tendency to either deny or let consume me. I was going to Julia to seek answers. When she explained to me that sometimes vows or promises made in past lifetimes have the ability to affect us in this lifetime, my immediate reaction was "shit... I reckon I did some pretty crazy shit in my previous lives". But Julia's calming voice let me break away from my fears and feel the love and energy of my spirit guides and ancestors.

After I selected cards from a tarot deck, Julia was able to explain to me the vow I had made was having a major impact on my relationships in this lifetime. This was very accurate, as I do struggle to connect to others on a higher level as well as letting certain patterns destroy my relationships. However, the next card was the one that really hit me. It was a young girl sitting on the edge of the Chalice Well, a famous spiritual site in Glastonbury, England. Like the girl, spiritually, I had always found myself on the edge. Never delving in, never committing, yet interested and informed. Not being able to let go and experience spirituality had there caused me much sadness throughout my life, contributing to feeling like an outsider. What made this card particularly interesting, was that in approximately a month, I was travelling to the UK, so making the journey to the Chalice Well was at the top of my must see list. The final card was the Sun which showed a girl surrounded by sunflowers, dancing, with a beautiful, happy and knowing smile. I saw myself in that girl and instantly I wanted that version of me. I didn’t want to wallow and pity myself anymore. Nor self-destruct,hurt myself and others or waste my life away in ignorance. I wanted to release the vow I made, one so strong, it hid, forcing me to go deep within. One that I have carried through lifetimes, letting it affect me and even feeding it at times. But not anymore. This time I am going to let it go.

The first thing I see are green eyes. Green eyes peering at me in a pool of clear water. I try to reach to the creature with the engaging green eyes. But they disappear. I call to them again and this time they appear with a nose. But they still will not leave the pool, the safety. They are willing to let me in, but they will not come out. I must go deeper for this journey. As I break through the veil of the pool onto the other side, I find myself in a partially dried river bed, in a beautiful valley surrounded by trees, standing next to a girl of about 8 years old. She has straw coloured hair and is dressed in a filthy white woollen shift. As she turns to look up at me, somewhat defiant yet also grateful, I see that the eyes match the green eyes I saw in the pool. She still will not let me approach her, but she allows me to follow her so she can show me. I follow her along the river bank, watching her as she stops sporadically to pick something up, throwing stones into the river here and there and occasionally checking that I do not get too close to her. I ask her where her family are.

She speaks to me without opening her mouth, in what I can only describe as telepathically. She tells me that she is alone. She is upset but she looks into my third eye and shows me what happened to her family. I am not myself, I am her. I feel all her fear and horror as people surround her house, yelling and shouting, calling out to her mother. I can see my (her) mother standing in the corner shielding my brother, a toddler who is crying. The people around the house are yelling a number of things, directed at my mother such as“Heretic”, “Witch”, “Whore” and“Slut”. The mob burnt the house to the ground. Yet I was not in it. I am not sure how or why, but I was somehow watching the house burn from above.

I feel all her loss, pain and anger at losing her family. As the girl pulled me back to myself, she explained that she had been living in the valley on her own, taking care of herself. I ask her to show me happier times with her family and what it was like before they took them away. Again, I am forced into her consciousness. I see my mother, who radiated love and cared for me so much. The love I felt towards my mother, emanating from my small form was some of the purest, most joyful love I have ever felt. My mother was a medicine woman or hedge witch, who showed me how to make healing poultices, use healing plants and hunt and trap animals for food. I had no father. I played with my little brother and took him to the garden when people would come to see my mother. The same people who would kill her. Young women would come for love or fertility, and men for healing and virulence. To the child and to me she was the absolute embodiment of the divine feminine. The perfect balance of feminine and masculine. She was womanly and gentle with unbleached skin and light auburn hair with big blue eyes like sapphires.While these people used her for her services, they were always wary and scared of her. I could feel my child’s mind unable to understand, because the way I saw her as beautiful, loving and caring. She was pure. The people who used her were troubled and scared of everything including themselves.

illustration John D Batten

I was thrown forward in time and I was still the girl but a little older, around 14 years old. I slept in a large tree at night to keep warm. I was able to hunt for myself and find any herbs, vegetables or plants that I needed. I was ultimately a recluse, withdrawing form human contact as much as I possibly could. She wanted me to see that we could take care of ourselves. That we didn’t need to rely on others. As I acknowledged this fact, I was thrown forward again to a time where I was approximately 20 years old. I was walking through the middle of a small town or village. The people that I walked past, mostly in a market place, stopped what they were doing to gawk at me. Some were whispering, few knew who I was. Others could feel or sense the power that was emanating from me, swirling around me, threatening to consume them if they dare approach. My destination was a hall which sat on a hill just above the village. The only way I can describe my thoughts while I was walking through the village was “NO FUCKS GIVEN.” I did not care what these people thought of me, what they said to me or about me. I was fucking magnificent, powerful and most of all, I knew it. I was there for a purpose.

As I approached the hall and opened the doors to enter, my eyes locked with a man in a large chair, someone who was clearly in charge. He knew who I was and I knew who he was. He was my father. And he had had my mother and brother killed. Whatever his reasons or intentions, I did not care. I stared at him until his gaze fell, possibly in recognition of who I was or in acceptance of what was about to happen. And then I cursed him. I cannot remember the exact words (probably a good thing) but they were similar to “I curse you and all your seed. Your line will begin and end with me. All you love, have ever loved and all you touch will turn to dust and fade. You will be nothing. You are nothing." The pure anger, hatred and vengeance was like nothing I had ever felt. At times I can be a vindictive person who will hurt others because they have hurt me, but this was next level. In this lifetime I was willing to sacrifice myself to hurt another person. To take away everything that mattered to him, because he had taken away the only thing that I cared about. My vow and the sacrifice I made for the curse was to be alone forever. I had lost the only thing that mattered and rather than try to find solace and acceptance, other people to care for, I chose hateful vengeance and a solitary life. I was shown a brief glimpse of the rest of my life, which was not overly long. I had a number of lovers and seduced anyone I could, with no acknowledgement of the pain I caused to people that had never hurt me. I bore children and in a way discarded them, found no joy in them, regarded them as a hindrance. And so I was always alone. I didn’t care for anyone.

Many years later, I went back to the village of my father. They eventually bound me in chains and placed me in a jail of some sort. In some way, I knew that my father was dying or very ill. I was at the end of my journey, the hate and rage had become exhausting and it was nearly over. I knew that to capture and kill me, despite the curse would give my father a measure of peace in his after life. So in my last act of defiance I pulled a vial of poison out from between my breasts, took the dram in one long swig and died with a smile on my lips because I had won. I had sacrificed my own peace to take away someone else’s.

Once again, I was standing in the valley beside the river bed, with the young woman who had placed the curse in front of me. As I looked at her, my eyes filled with tears and my whole body became tense, making me feel like I had been winded. I begged her to embrace me, to release the anger, hatred and the vow that held us both. She refused me. Who was I to tell her what to do? How could I make her release when no one else could? What happened next, was like some telepathic exchange where I explained that I knew how she felt, I had just seen it, I was also bound by her hatred. I pleaded with her once more and hesitantly she embraced me and then collapsed in to my arms. All the sadness, sorrow, hatred and pain left her, filtered into me and she became light as a feather. Before she was beautiful because she was fearsome. Now she beautiful because she was happy. She could be finally be with her mother and brother. They were standing there waiting for her, like they always had been. As she hugged me goodbye, thanked me and went to her family, all her emotions consumed me and bound me in vines from my feet to my neck. As they constricted and suffocated, this was the time I knew I could not wallow in my self-hatred and pity. I searched for anything to break me free from these constricting vines and found a dagger made of bone. As I began to hack away at the vines piece by piece, I could feel the tension in my body begin to ease, the anxiety slip away. I felt the hatred, vengeance and pain fall away with every vine. I cut through the curse and the vow and felt my body release generations of pain. I was free.

A month after I had my Swan Blessing, I journeyed to the UK. I went with a heart and head full of the excitement, knowledge and hope I had gained. And you know what? I was disappointed. I arrived in London expecting to be this amazing, free person, yet I still wasn’t. To be honest, after seeing Julia I did a little bit of work on myself but other than immediately after the blessing I didn’t feel significantly different. I thought it would all make sense when I left, when I escaped from everything I knew. I expected an instant fix. I saw friends in London and Liverpool and travelled to Glasgow on my own, waiting every moment for this 'epiphany' to happen. To let go of all my bullshit, to release my vow, to be as free as that girl in the sun, the one who had cut all the vines. Instead I was homesick. I was in a country I had wanted to travel to virtually my entire life and I was fucking homesick!? What the hell was wrong with me? Where was this magical realisation and cure all for me being a fucked up mess? Feeling quite dejected I continued on. I hired a car and drove through the Scottish Highlands, to the Isle of Skye, Inverness and back down to Edinburgh. I marvelled at the enormity of the highlands, the vast meandering emptiness that also felt so full of life with a sparkle in my eyes and a grin on my face. I forced myself out of my shell, talking to the travellers, asking their advice and picked up a hitchhiker who I travelled to Skye and Inverness with. I climbed mountains, stood on cliffs and swam in the Fairy Pools. I went searching for the Northern Lights of Inverness, driving along winding roads that felt so tiny and foreign. I stood on the banks of Loch Ness, with a song in my heart and picked a thistle for my one true love.

During this time, I forgot that I was waiting for this 'epiphany'. I forgot that I needed a cure for being a mess, for being sensitive and cruel at the same time. It wasn’t until I was back in London and had a little down time that I remembered how important the Chalice Well had been to me. So I hired a car and drove out to Glastonbury, stopping at Stonehenge on the way. After arriving in Glastonbury late, I left early the next morning to drive towards Tintagel Castle and Cornwall. Due to lack of planning, I missed the opportunity to explore Merlins Cave. Pissed off, I hiked up a ridiculous amount of stairs against the tearing wind to look at some bloody rocks that form what was once a castle. I kept going, marvelling at the wildness of the country, avoiding massive slugs and goats that are apt to chase people. When I had reached a peak, I sat down partially from exhaustion, part memory and part sadness. I stood up and looking down at the ferocious sea, I screamed into the wind, yelling at the goddess, at god, at myself, daring the wind to become powerful enough to knock me into the sea and let it consume me. With a raw throat, salt stained face and teary eyes, I walked back to the car.

I had one more stop before I could finally go to the Chalice Well, and that was St. Nectan's Glen which I thought looked like a cool waterfall. Once I arrived, I started to walk along the path hurriedly as I just wanted to get a photo and get back in the car so I could make it to see the Chalice Well before it closed. Yet I kept walking. And walking. And bloody walking! Rather than taking in the beauty around me, I was hurrying. When I finally reached the entrance I walked down to the waterfall and I was on my own in this haunting glen. It felt like there was no one around for miles. Like I was the only soul left alive. I admired the ribbons hanging from trees, small piles of flat stones and the rushing water from the beautiful keyhole waterfall. I sat for a moment and contemplated whatever people contemplate in places such as this and then I stood up, took my clothes off and waded into the water and stuck my head under the freezing waterfall. Because why not?

I finally made it to the Chalice Well gardens that afternoon (after taking forever to find a park in tiny English streets, being yelled at for smoking too close to the gardens and scolded for coming towards closing time). I walked the gardens, took photos and drank the water which apparently has healing properties. By the time I came to the actual Well, I sat and cried. Not from sadness or happinessbut from acknowledgement. Sitting by it, I can’t honestly say if it was 'welling' with the spirits and powers of ancient magicks. I was too consumed in myself and my 'epiphany' moment. The Chalice Well was a reminder of how far I had come since sitting in the room in the forest with Julia and discovering my vow, my strength and my darkness.

Despite making the vow to be alone and being afraid of it all my life, I learned it is okay to be a recluse at times in order to recharge and to do things on your like driving through Scotland. That like the little girl from my Swan Blessing, I can take care of myself, without reliance on others, what they think of me and their opinions on how I conduct my life. I realised that I am FUCKING MAGNIFICENT, even if I don't feel that way all the time and that while being born a woman, a cause of pain and frustration in many ways, is such a blessing that I need to own it and be proud of being this fucking divine. I don't need to constantly test people nor do I have to win all the time, as it is okay to let go sometimes. I acknowledge that I don't need to rush all the time, sometimes the universe is just screaming for you to take your time. Most importantly I realised that I am deserving of love and so much more.

While these might not sound like things worthy of a major realisation, these are issues that I have faced throughout my life. While I visualised cutting away the vines that day in the forest, they were never completely gone. Cutting the vines did not release my vow, but gave me the power to release it. However it doesn't come quickly. You release parts and pieces, acknowledging and bidding farewell. They will try to come back repeatedly (a bit like John Farnham) but you know better now. They're transparent and you are no longer ignorant. You won't let the vines creep up on you again. Whilst I understand not everyone can go on a journey like I did so soon after having their blessing, you don't need to. You have been awoken. You have seen your lightness and possibly your darkness. It won't come as easy as you think or will it come quickly and you will spend a long time keeping those vines at bay. But it's worth it. Because you're no longer happy to sit by in ignorance and bliss. Take the pain and harsh realisations because it is all worth it in the end.

I would like to thank Julia for not only the Swan Blessing but also the help and advice she has given me in the past. I have learnt that I don't need to hold on to things to make them true. I need to release them so that I am able to live."

Alex Walker, 2016

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Photos by Alex Walker

Medicine Doll Story - RavenKeeper of Secrets

Crow SecretKeeper

A handblown glass vessel to catch tears. RavenKeeper of Secrets travels with her mama, a healer working with women & children in shelters and halfway houses. She is doll for them to tell their stories to when they are not ready or able to speak to anyone else.

In May this year I travelled to the Redwoods in California to share medicine dollmaking at Spirit Weavers Gathering. It was a beautiful experience to sit with sisters so far from my home in Australia and humbling too when I heard their stories about the deep and passionate work they are committed to doing. I especially loved catching up with sisters that previously I'd only spoken to online. Once of these women was Heidi Lafinier who I knew as Pura Vida Living and I was so happy when she sat beside me in one of our medicine doll circles. As we began Heidi mentioned that she had noticed how many of my dolls had braided hair and I told her it wasn't conscious it just felt right. She told me that in her Native American Cree tradition, braiding your hair was a way to preserve energy for yourself. To keep it strong and pure. She said just putting a small braid in your hair can help you from being affected by the energy of others - keeping your spirit close so you can work with other people who may be in pain and trauma and not have their energy affect you so much. I was very grateful to learn this and it really seemed to speak to the similar medicine of wool as an insulator, incubator, a holder of energy. Wool also is one of the few fibres that does not easily take in water -  just like our hair.

Fire Elemental Sacred Familiar

After I returned to Australia I made the Fire elemental medicine doll you see above and Heidi felt called to be her keeper. This doll told Heidi her name was Bold and she began to go everywhere with Heidi in her work with women and children in shelters and halfway houses. As a healer and grandmother herself, Heidi's passion is working with the Crone. Soon I received another request from Heidi for a new doll, a special doll and when I asked why, this is the story that Heidi shared with us to call in the spirit of RavenKeeper of Secrets:

"I have volunteered at the battered women's shelter and a halfway house for women just released from prison to perform Reiki.  I always take Bold and keep her with me, but on one occasion at the women's shelter a red haired little girl asked if she could hold Bold while I gave her mom Reiki, I saw no harm in this.  As her mom and I walked back into the room we overheard this: "And that's really how my arm was broken, thanks Bold I will tell the Police the truth now.  I love you too!"   She gave me Bold and we went home.

Bold didn't talk to me on the way home or at work the next day but I was busy and let it go, but after work we were off to the halfway house. These women are very hard or hardened.  I offered Reiki to one woman and another asked about the doll I kind of explained her and tried to hurry on, every red flag in my body said keep moving, she was someone I'd been warned about (hard, mean, hateful, violent etc.). But she said "I would like to talk to that doll while you do hanky panky to her" and she pointed to the other women.  I really did not want to give Bold to her, but Bold still wasn't really talking to me, so I handed Bold to her and I finished Reiki and rushed out to get Bold and it was like a different lady handed me back my doll.  And these are her exact words: "That is some doll, first person who ever believed me, and I have been telling the truth for 35 years"  and she turned around and walked away.  I stood there like an idiot.  On the way home Bold still didn't talk but that night I decided I should sage and cleanse her, but she spoke loudly then and said maybe you should meditate with me first!  Then she didn't betray any confidences but she let me see that she was not made to be a 'Keeper of Secrets'  she was there for me and she would always help me, but it was hard on her to take the pain of those she did not know, pain that was so indescribable she could not share with me.  Because she was my keeper.  So I helped cleanse her and we are whole again.

So I now Know, I need a medicine doll whose sole purpose is to be strong as steel, who can be the 'KEEPER OF SECRETS'.  This is something I believe I will come in contact with many times as I begin working with the Crones.  There are two very wise spirit animals that are considered Keepers of the Secrets.  One is the Lynx and one is the Raven.  The Owl is also related to secrets or the darkness of things.  None of these are bad as Creator only created good things for us."

RavenKeeper of Secrets

I felt such strong emotions reading Heidi's story and request. It's stories like these that remind me of the power of the doll. How many times have we seen children talking with focus and emotion with their dolls? It is no wonder that many therapists and counsellors work with dolls when healing trauma. I felt a big responsibility to make her such a powerful vessel to hold all of these shadow stories but more than anything else I felt excited and very focussed.

The first question I asked the doll was who walked with her and it was clear - it was Raven. I began to lay out the silky black feathers. I thought about the doll's body and how strong she had to be - an anchor. I prepared a medicine bundle filled it with mugwort, fern roots, hawthorn flowers and peridot crystals from the Australian desert. I placed a drop of water gathered from the natural spring at the Equinox in the centre of the bundle. Everything about RavenKeeper of Secrets asked for the best. A medicine doll that was being requested so selflessly and who would be in service to so many received the finest fibres of angora, cashmere, merino and silk. Her hair is woven with Camel fibres and dyed with walnuts.

A vessel to collect your tears - RavenKeeper

And then I remembered a beautiful glass bottle from my own personal medicine bag that held the sacred waters from the Chalice Well at Glastonbury. To these waters I added an oil blend gifted to me by a wise crone here in Australia for protection and healing and saw that this was a vessel to catch the tears as the stories were shared with the doll. And that she would hold the story for them until they felt strong enough to share it with someone who could be trusted.

And finally I decorated RavenKeeper's heart with silk rays of blue light around a labradorite that I only realised much later was in the shape of a tear that looked like it was falling into the glass bottle. This stone was also one of the finest in my possession and had been gifted to me.

In 6 months time I will journey again across the ocean to gather with my sisters under the redwood trees at Spirit Weavers Gathering. I look forward to hugging Heidi again and thanking her for honouring me with the opportunity to weave such a sacred doll. I look forward to holding RavenKeeper of Secrets again too and feeling how huge her heart has grown holding all those stories.

Irina the Wolf Queen in Sherbrooke Forest

Irina the Wolf Queen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNB8YZDhpIo&feature=youtu.be

There are parts of Sherbrooke Forest that have been wild and then owned and settled and then wild again.  In one part of the forest, an old residence is like a ghost in the garden, all that's left of any kind of human dwelling are pathways, drystone walls and mysterious manmade pools or ponds. It is a strange place because you feel the land's history and the present all at once and even though we are allowed to enter, I still often whisper and walk very quietly in this land. All I know is that many, many years ago this garden ceased being private land and was given back to Sherbrooke Forest and the trees, the vines and the ferns have made quick work of welcoming it back to the wild.

Melbourne author, Leah Swann is not only a writer I respect and admire, she is one of my dearest and oldest friends. We met over 20 years ago when we shared a house in Scotland with, let's say, a very curious collection of people. At that time it was rare to meet another Australian living in Glasgow. A  huge amount of our early conversations involved our fascination with sacred sites and ancestral mythology and nothing has really changed! As a writer, Leah is interested in creating ways to re-wild the spirit of women and men and at the heart of her trilogy for children and young adults, Irina the Wolf Queen, is a young female heroine who lives in a wild, intuitive and magical world inspired by the archetypal wisdom of fairytales.

As soon as I read Irina the Wolf Queen I saw it instantly as a film. Recently Leah had the opportunity to create a trailer, a visual welcoming into the imagined world of Ragnor where Irina and her wolves reside and she could think of no better place than Sherbrooke Forest. The young woman you see as Irina in the trailer and doing the amazing voice over is Leah's own daughter, Brigita - the inspiration for the character of Irina. I love this! I see this as active dreaming - to be literally creating the dream world of Irina in our present time. How amazing would it have been for our own mothers to have written a tale of magic and courage and then to have placed us as young women in the main role? And so Brigita is now walking and speaking in the dream of her mother and so this dreaming now belongs to both mother and daughter and the energy created is huge because underlying it all is a such a clear intention and collective dream for the sisterhood - to become the magical heroines of our own lives and to create our own mythology.

Adorning Brigita and her wolf

It was a such a magical experience to watch the filming of this dream in Sherbrooke Forest. As usual, I am always tuning into the animals to learn more about what's going on and I spent a lot of time watching the beautiful Apollo, Irina's 'white wolf'. To say that his owner was worried about Apollo would be an understatement. Apollo is very powerful and strong, loves to chase birds and is extremely hard to catch. But like most intelligent beings, he is highly intuitive and sensitive to his environment and when he stepped into the filming and felt the focus and intention of everyone involved, he became at ease and serene. Apollo was so calmed by the conscious focus of the dreamers that he actually fell asleep in the middle of that busy forest at Brigita's feet.  I've seen this happen with our own dogs when they work with us. Even in stressful environments, the energy of creating with intention is powerfully calming. Perhaps this is a message for those of us who also feel sensitive in chaotic environments - keep your focus on the dream and what you are creating.

I believe there is a great need for stories like Irina for young women and men, if not only to create a balance with the strange message being broadcast through mainstream media to children but perhaps to even burst that bubble of pressure and illusion completely. Here's to the spirit of the wild wolf, to Irina the Wolf Queen and to the writers like Leah Swann who are creating dreams for us all to feel closer to magic and nature.

Sherbrooke Forest is a beautiful between place - between the tame and the wild. The last time Tony and I visited the garden where the filming took place we found deer tracks on the path. As we turned down a different pathway we heard the stag just ahead of us, we heard him snort and turn and disappear back into the trees.

www.leahswann.com

Purchase the Irina trilogy

She Wears the Crown - Deer Medicine and Antlered Women

 StagWoman by Alice Savage

The Wood Witch by Nadia Turner

"Originally Artemis herself was a deer, and she is the goddess who kills deer; the two are dual aspects of the same being. Life is killing life all the time, and so the goddess kills herself in the sacrifice of her own animal." 

Joseph Campbell

Sometimes we consciously track the sightings of our animal allies and sometimes they track us. I believe we have a family of animal guardians that make their presence known to us in many different ways. For myself, it is often in dreams but today as I prepared to write this letter as dedication to the medicine of Deer, I was amazed to realise just how much help and assistance Deer has been giving me all these years. I believe there is no right or wrong perception of an animal's medicine or message - it is very personal for each of us and so I can only share how the Deer shows up in my life and perhaps this will resonate for you too. I also want to share the medicine workings of a beautiful weaver who is working constantly with the spirit of Deer: Lindsy Richards. I feel that together we can find a common thread.

The first words that come to me when I think of Deer medicine are strength, grounding, intuition and sensitivity. Deer has taught me more than another animal that I need to be grounded to do intuitive work. It assisted me in creating my work and supporting myself financially through my art but only after I learnt the toughest lesson of just how dangerous it is for me to be in work environments that are damaging to my spirit. For me to talk honestly about this medicine and I understand now that Deer requires me to be truthful is to acknowledge the shadow. Recently someone commented that they hoped I was alright after reading one of my newsletters. I kind of had a little chuckle to myself - I am ok but if I just projected one side of my life where everything was light and easy that wouldn't be the truth and it wouldn't be natural. If I inspire or encourage anyone to embrace a creative life, I need to do it honestly and talk about the pitfalls as well as the heights. I think our society and media especially are interested in only presenting the light. But is it light if it is false? The cycle of nature that we get to observe so closely in the forest is always a balance between life and death. The Deer is one of the only animals where the females also grow antlers but these antlers are grown and then shed every year.

The biggest lessons I have learnt from Deer is the balance between freedom and discipline (limitation) and  independence and responsibility - when in balance beauty is created. So this medicine more than any other for me is about maturity and being healthy as I stand with one foot in the mundane world and one in the spirit world. When I do this it's as if my spirit grows antlers and I can then use them like antennae to receive messages and dreaming.

When I spoke to Lindsy there were many threads connecting us in our work but I was surprised to learn that the deepest thread was that the Deer and antlered women had come to us after a period of illness and breakdown - a kind of psychic and emotional rupture that made it impossible for us to keep trying to live in a way that wasn't truthful and authentic.

In my mid thirties I was burnt out. I had spent most of my life in fight or flight mode and working in environments that were way too harsh for me and making me very unhappy. But I thought this is just what you did - you had to survive and support yourself right? Well my body soon told me who was really in charge. I got very sick and everything I was trying to hold onto and keep together fell apart - much like the Tower card in the Tarot. But something interesting happens when you hit rock bottom - you lose your ego and realise there's nothing left to lose so why not do what you love? I had to find my joy again and when I thought of where it lay it was always with reading the Tarot.

I began to dream up Sacred Familiar - a name in dedication to my beloved animal companions and so it is not really surprising that it was Artemis who began to show herself to me - the guardian of animals, women and children. I began to surround myself with imagery of Artemis and the Deer and for the first time in m life began to create my own work doing what I loved. At the same time as working purely in an intuitive field, I was managing a business, doing my own accounts and administration for courses. I have no doubt that it was the medicine of Deer that was helping me to navigate and create balance between these feminine and masculine traits. And I began to thrive.

My first ever physical encounter with a deer was when I leading a morning meditation walk at my first retreat in Warburton, Victoria back in 2009. I had chosen this area seemingly at random - little did I know I would be returning every month in the future to draw water from the natural spring. This was the first retreat I had ever held and a week before it was to begin, my father had a life threatening stroke and almost died. I had to fly to Tasmania to now be his voice as he had lost his power of speech and mobility. Suddenly I was the adult and was filling out and signing forms I could barely understand. I flew back to Melbourne and the next day I began the retreat. I was in a daze but felt strangely calm.

On the second day we woke early and went for a walk in the mist along the Yarra River. We heard an unfamiliar sound and looked up to see a stag and doe running through the front yards of houses along the street. It was a surreal moment to say the least especially as we had been talking about the Empress and the Emperor in the Tarot and now here they were presenting themselves. Just as quickly they disappeared from sight. To see these mythical creatures, not native to Australia, in the daylight, jumping the fences of suburban homes had a strange effect - it was at once magical and at the same time very, very familiar. That whole retreat was a graceful and easy experience and one I will never forget.

My next encounter with deer was soon after we moved to Sherbrooke Forest 3 years ago. The forest called and we answered but living here was another matter entirely. We soon began to hear stories from the locals of the wild deer and stag being sighted in the winter evenings. I felt that strange tug again in my tummy - a memory that I couldn't quite catch... At night I was beginning what would become my medicine doll apprenticeship and one of the very first dolls I made was a doll I called StagWoman. You can see her in the photo below and at the top of this post you will see the incredible drawing of StagWoman by Alice Savage who is now the doll's keeper.

I made the first StagWoman (who actually lives inside Alice's StagWoman - a doll within a doll!) for myself to help me get used to living in the forest after living in cities for more than half my life. At night I would feel the heavy darkness and the movement of the animals and I felt the forest like a wild creature - Stag at my window. I was feeling old fears that I couldn't even believe I had - they felt somewhat medieval. My fear was of leaving the city or town - I worried about how to fend for myself, how to work for myself and how to survive when all of my clients lived in the city. As I was making this doll, a huge mountain ash tree fell a few metres from our home with a ground shaking explosion, sounding exactly like a car crash in the middle of the night. The next day I went and stood near the upturned roots of this fallen giant trying to come to terms with all this uncontrollable wildness - it all felt so dangerous.

As the doll grew I kept seeing antlers like the Stag growing through her hair. I was confused at first, was she male or female? She told me she was female but wore antlers. She was embodying both male and female and I let her be just that. She became an important talisman to help me find my own balance and to trust the wild that was not only all around us but also waking up inside me. Little by little I lost my fear of the forest and realised it wasn't actually even my fear but something like a bad spell or brainwashing put upon us to convince us that we need the city to survive or others to provide for us. I had to develop totally new habits and ways of working and as I did, the requests for medicine dolls grew. I now felt the spirit of the forest as a soft and caring presence who nurtured me but also confronted me when I was not being aware of nature and she would remind me to always live with nature instead of beside it or hidden inside my so called 'safe' home. I learnt that the forest is safety. The medicine dolls soon become my main source of work - work that I love and adore. And StagWoman keeps making herself known to me constantly through various different medicine doll incarnations. You can see some of them here.

Deer medicine is teaching me. And it keeps returning when I need reminding - like it's time to grow a new set of antlers. The lessons are about independence, freedom, living closer to nature and supporting myself to be here. The significance of the StagWoman is to clear and remove old beliefs around gender and what it means to be a woman living in this time now - how to be remain wild and at the same time take proper care of ourselves - to be free and responsible for ourselves at the same time.

Deer Medicine Woman: Lindsy Richards

I met Lindsy when she attended one of my medicine doll circles at Spirit Weavers in the Redwoods this year. I remember her so well because she made the most amazing Marie Antoinette medicine doll complete with gown and white cotton candy wig. When I returned home to Australia Lindsy and I connected through instagram and when I saw the images of what she creates I was blown away. Through her work with Illuminating Archetypes, Lindsy is the creator of the most captivating and fascinating headdresses - many of them antlered. She told me how it was seeing one of my antlered medicine dolls that made her want to make her own medicine doll. We have since had a couple of discussions weaving the threads that connect our work and our own healing, discovering that it was the antlered women and Artemis that helped us to heal and grow forward.

I felt I truly understood Lindsy best when I read her story The Artist Mother - A Tale of a 'Wild Woman Archetype' on her website. It's such a strong Deer medicine and Artemis tale!

Lindsy Richards

Lindsy: "Artemis is the resistance to domestication. Her twin brother Apollo (her opposite) represents the intellect and the culture, while she stands for the power of Nature and the Wild Self. She is the Goddess of the hunt, wild animals, the moon, wilderness, childbirth, virginity and protector of young girls. This Virgin Goddess symbolizes autonomy, the ability to belong to herself. She is an archetype of the self empowered woman. "Artemis comes to sanctify solitude, natural, and primitive living to which we may all return whenever we find it necessary to belong only to ourselves." ~Ginette Paris

All the animals of the forest are under Artemis's protection.  She is in such intimate relationship with them, she knows their rhythms, cycles, and habits. Yet as the huntress she must engage the primordial dance of kill and be killed. Artemis imagery is most often depicted with the deer/stag. She is a death/rebirth goddess. One who holds the mysteries of regeneration and cycles.

Artemis and Deer Wisdom: Be still and silent in developing your intuition. Trust your instincts and move swiftly. Approach your challenges with grace and determination."

I urge you to have a deeper look at Lindsy's work at Illuminating Archetypes to be taken to the realm of Deer medicine and I look forward to weaving more with Lindsy in the future!

You are already what you Seek - Medicine Doll as Mirror

"I wanted a doll that would remind him of who he really is, and oh my goodnes, I could not have orchestrated it more perfectly myself! When Lachlan saw his doll he was beside himself with excitement. He then started connecting with the doll and looked at me and said... "Hey Mum, this doll is ME. It is a wizard, just like me. It has a dinosaur tooth, and I love dinosaurs. It has nature, and I like nature. It has green, and green is my favourite colour, and it was made in Sherbrooke forest, and we love Sherbrooke forest!"

Wizard medicine doll made for Lachlan's 9th birthday

Over the weekend I received this beautiful message and it couldn't have come at a better time. To know that a doll has made a child feel this way is all the confirmation and praise I need. Thank you so much Lachlan and Nat - these words make my heart explode with happiness!

At the moment I am writing about the magic of the medicine doll to help me to prepare for Spirit Weavers Gathering in 2 weeks. It's a hard one to put into words. People often ask me how to 'use' a medicine doll and I have come to understand that a doll is always personal, there are no rules. They are holders and vessels for love, for healing and for your intentions. They can be powerful links to ancestors, especially when adorned with sacred family treasures. A medicine doll can help you to access the child within, help you face your deepest fears and when placed beside your bed they can have a strong presence in your dreaming.

And the medicine doll can become a mirror or a bridge to a powerful part of yourself that you might not always be able to express or feel - but you're getting there! Essentially I feel like a medicine doll is a friend and the more time you spend with this friend the more you love them. Perhaps you begin to tell the doll the secrets that you hold in your heart and cannot share with others. Here is a doll that helped me overcome my own fear. The doll lives with you daily - through good times and bad - the doll is always accepting. And then a funny thing happens - you realise that this friend is also a part of you, perhaps the most deepest and honest part of yourself. And this little vessel has become a being that knows you so well and accepts you completely. Then, that love that you have for this little doll begins to flow back to yourself. You see that you are also a beautiful, magical and creative being. You heal yourself.

Thank you Nadia Turner for this drawing of Fox and I dreaming in a doll together - I think it captures perfectly the essence of enchantment around a medicine doll.

I feel like I am at the very beginning of a long apprenticeship in the craft of dollmaker. I'm grateful to the lineage of ancestral doll makers of the past and for the opportunities to pass this craft on to future dollmakers. And while I am still trying to find the words to describe the ancient connection that humans have always felt for the doll, I have been looking at vintage photographs of children and their beloved dolls on Pinterest.  It might just be me, but I am starting to see that all dolls are medicine.

Hawai'ian Ancestor Doll - why we cannot wait to be perfect

Recently I was asked by a friend who is also a maker and artist if it is a good thing to create something for someone else when we ourselves are feeling down or unwell. I understand this question, I used to worry about the same thing and very strictly only created when in my utmost health. But one day I created a doll for a woman in great need of assistance, she was suffering panic attacks and I wanted to make her a doll right then when she needed it most. On that weekend I was in a state of grieving for someone in my own life but as I sat with the soft wool in my hands with all that colour around me - my favourite part of dollmaking is playing with colour - I realised that I began to feel a lot brighter and happier. What I discovered at the end of the creation process was that not only had I made a very beautiful and joyful doll, I was feeling so much better. I have found this to be one of the significant benefits of creating a healing doll for someone else - we receive that healing too. We heal ourselves through the practice of creating and I feel especially that in the act of sending good wishes and intentions to another, we receive the same blessing. A blessing doubled.

Last week, particularly around the Full Moon in Cancer, a Wolf Moon and first full moon of the year, the intensity of energy was enormous. Two astrological posts that I found very helpful to understand the energy at the moment were by Hare in the Moon Astrology and Mystic Mamma. Recently I have been dealing with an old back injury that I used to get when I was much younger. I have come to understand it is emotional and caused from 'holding on' and 'holding back'.  Just before the full moon I felt whatever was lurking down there in the depths for too long suddenly and terrifyingly rise to the surface - it was as if a sleeping volcano had suddenly awoken. At the same time, I was weaving a doll for a beautiful Hawai'ian sister, Wai'ala. I asked myself: can I make this doll when I am feeling so much of my own fear? Hesitantly I began preparing the medicine bundle to go inside her doll. As I did, I kept hearing the word 'orchid' and getting the message to include this flower for her. I knew I had 2 orchids grown with love by Tony's mother but for the life of me I couldn't find them. Finally I gave up and began to close up the bundle. But I kept hearing a woman's voice very firmly telling me to keep looking! She was not one to be argued with and so I looked again and finally found the orchids - in the last package of course! I placed them inside the bundle and I could feel right away the doll was happy.

When I shared the message with the Wai'ala about being told to find the orchid, she wrote:

'It's local folklore that our Hawai'ian goddess Pele loves and treasures orchids and it's been said she moves her lava flow around certain ones to save them and consumes everything else around them; preserving them alive in a surrounding sea of lava. I have great joy that the medicine doll requested one'.

On the night before the full moon I dreamt of an elderly man coming forward with a carefully wrapped box. Inside the box he said was an ancient crustacean. I felt very honoured but also scared to be it's keeper as if it was too precious and I was not worthy. I was also unsure how to keep it. I was then shown through a series of lessons on how to care for myself more and how to honour and protect the precious animal and mineral medicine gifts that I receive. I was also shown how to release what I had been holding on to. When I awoke from the dream it was as if I was still living in it, it was full moon and I was aware that I had work to do and instructions to follow from the dream.

I woke up and began to finish the medicine doll and as I wove the colours into her dress I saw that she would be holding a crystal skull to represent her ancestors and adorned with fossils of ancient oceans. As I placed the fossils into her dress I realised that the elder in my dream was one of Wai'ala's ancestors. In the weaving of the doll for his granddaughter I had created a space where he could enter my dream and assist me. On completion, the doll told me her name was FireOrchid Flowing Water Woman. At first I thought that her name was too long, I tried to shorten it to just FireOrchid but the doll was adamant again, she was also FlowingWater. I placed her in a large medicine circle with all of the medicine dolls, my personal dolls too and also all of the animal, plant and mineral medicines that go into the creation of each doll. I held a ceremony at the full moon singing gratitude to every creature, every being, my ancestors, Pachamama, my animals guides and all that help me to create the medicine dolls.

The next morning I awoke to read a new message from Wai'ala:

'I am so greatly honored, and full of bliss that while bringing her into creation my ancestors visited you and helped heal you and grow your natural talents. Their gift of the crustacean is so beautiful and inspiring. I've been seeking a stronger or more open connection with them, and felt a medicine doll would facilitate that amongst many other things, but I think that facilitation alone maybe most healing. It sounds like that connection was forged in many many ways. I have so many blisssful comments on all the details and beautiful work....but I'll only ask; Did I ever tell you what my name Wai'ala means?? It's my grandmothers Hawai'ian name and it translates to English as, fragrant flowing water; flower water, or commonly known as Flowing Water.'

I was blown away by this - I had no idea of the meaning of Wai'ala's Hawai'ian name or that this doll was intended to open the pathways of ancestral medicine. To receive this message was the just one part of the huge healing I received from Wai'ala and her ancestors - another was meeting this little tawny frogmouth. They have been walking with me this whole week and they are strong teachers! I am happy to say that I am practicing more gratitude and discipline around my medicine practices and have even released my hold on certain medicines that I was informed were not for me. It has left me with a sense of trust in what I'm doing and deep honour of the animal world, even the ancient creatures who are no longer existing in the same way on our earth but are still here in other forms.

I think sometimes we wait to be perfect to make something beautiful. If we do this, perhaps we will never create anything at all, thinking that we aren't there yet or aren't worthy. I feel that would be very sad for all of us and especially Mother Earth. Each creation is a ripple of love, a teaching from the mother in birthing with love. In these changing times there is so much healing and assistance available to us, especially when we create with the intention of helping another. We are all a little broken at times, we are flawed and a little ragged. We are all human and we are all in this together. Our shadow helps us to keep connected to compassion and empathy and when someone comes to us and they are facing their own dark night of the soul, we may know exactly what is needed. Because we have have been through it ourselves, we can give them hope to keep moving forward.  A tarot spread that really helped me to face my fears during this moon time was a shadow reading I call 'shining a light on the scary'.

My deepest gratitude goes to Wai'ala! I look forward to hugging you in person under the Redwoods at Spirit Weavers Gathering! And my deepest gratitude to your ancestors. I am honoured to share their message:

'Let go of what is not needed, protect what is sacred, remember the living ancients and trust in yourself.'

Thank you FireOrchid Flowing Water Woman.

Tarot Spread for Animal Messages and Transition in 2015

caterpillar photo by Sacred Familiar

Hello, how are you feeling in these early days of 2015? I'm not one for making New Year's resolutions but I'm very interested in contemplation and reviewing the lessons and messages that appear at the close of a year. I usually use January as a time to review the past year and gain clarity about the possibilities for the year to come. I always feel that I tune into the Chinese New Year much more - at the New Moon in February this year - I can physically feel the year birthing at this time. So I love to spend the month of January contemplating, releasing and dreaming - tilling the soil before planting new seeds.

And have I had time to contemplate this year -  on new years day I went for a walk for the first time in a week after being completely bedridden and unable to walk after putting my back out just after Christmas. Like most of us, I really wanted to be joyously greeting the new energies of the year to come. Instead I was living with the consequences of burning myself out at the end of the year, not stopping work even on Christmas Day. Because I love to make art, especially for others, I thought it was ok to just keep on going. Sometimes it's hard to believe that art is work too. But I had to have a good look at my work practices in that long week in bed - why did my feelings of worth come from being productive? Why do I pride myself on my working hard? And why had I forgotten how much I love to read for hours in bed?!!

Needless to say, I had a lot of time for reflection and one thing that stood out for me was how many animals had crossed my path over the last month. Tony and I had been lucky enough to meet a snake, echidna, caterpillar and lots of bees who are now visiting our home many times during the day to drink from a bird bath that we have filled with water gathered at a local natural spring. I realised that I hadn't spent a lot of time with the messages from these animal teachers and that perhaps they had been trying to give me hints about the burnout that was coming but I was too busy to notice.

Echidna photo by Sacred Familiar

Photograph by Sacred Familiar

Last night I created a tarot spread to understand these messages. I wrote down 4 animals that had crossed my path in the last month and then I shuffled the 4 Aces from each different element or suit of the tarot. Each element relates to a suit and to 4 quarters of the wheel:

Ace of Earth : Physical world (body, finances, work)

Ace of Water: Emotional world (love, healing, creativity)

Ace of Air: Mental world (ideas, worries, teaching, communication)

Ace of Fire: Spirit world (passion, dreams, magic, willpower)

I wanted to see what part of my life or element each animal had come to teach me about. I shuffled the Aces (the gifts or blessings of each suit) and placed them beneath medicine representing each animal. For this you can also just write the name of the animal on a piece of paper. I then thought of an animal that has been a big part of my journey this year or perhaps my whole life, a totem and for this animal I chose a Major Arcana card to represent the soul message and also a Minor Arcana card to represent the practical advice from this animal messenger. And finally at the bottom of the spread I began to tap into the tiniest, whispers of promise and opportunity available to me in the beginning month of 2015.

All I can say is I wish I'd done this spread before Christmas! I truly believe that after reading it I would have let myself rest. There were so many messages about slowing down and receiving pleasure, playing more and loving each moment for what it is not what I wanted or hoped it to be. My wish is that this spread helps you to understand the spirit of the last month and the gifts that came to you through your animal visitors (and they can be any animals at all - perhaps you read about a particular animal or watched a documentary that stayed with you for a long time. And of course they can be your own animals that live with you, our wise familiars).

 Animal Elements for Transition Tarot Spread

Animal transition tarot by Sacred Familiar

First separate the Minor & Major Arcana cards and the 4 Aces.

Positions:

1 - 4: Choose 4 different animals & write their names on paper - place in these positions.

5 - 8: Take out the 4 Aces of each element & shuffle. Place them in these positions. The element will tell you what part of your life this animal has come to assist.

9 - 12: Shuffle the Minor Arcana and choose 4 - place here. These cards represent advice on how to create balance and transition in these areas.

13. Think of a significant animal messenger that has been appearing in 2014 or throughout your life and write the name of this animal and place it here.

14. Shuffle the Major arcana and choose a card for the Soul Message from this totem to you in regards to the best way to transition from 2014 to the energy and spirit of 2015.

15. Shuffle the Minor Arcana and choose a card for Practical Advice on how to integrate the Soul Message and apply it in a practical way to create a smooth transition.

16. Major Arcana: Opportunity for growth and blessings in the early part of 2015.

17. Minor Arcana: Opportunity for growth and blessings in the early part of 2015.

Lyrebird Medicine - Your Spirit has a Voice Beyond Time

Recently I was given the gift of a Lyrebird feather. I was deeply honoured to receive it not only because the feathers of these totem birds of Sherbrooke Forest are so very rare and hard to find but also because they are medicine from these sonic record keepers, the ancestral sound recorders. Lyrebirds have a prehistoric memory recall of the sounds of animals that no longer exist on the earth.  These ancient creatures have a lot to teach us about ancestral voices and once when I was listening to a lyrebird in the forest, I felt a line of energy or space open up through my sinuses and mouth – it felt like an activation of some kind and it was created by a frequency of sound made by this bird that is actually way too hard to describe in words. Sonic is the only word that comes close to it.

And the sound of our words spoken aloud or in song can be just as powerful. We are being called now to speak for the Earth and for her animals, her trees, her water. Reclaiming our words and the unique sound of our own voice and then speaking with intent can be life-changing. I believe that some of us are being called to re-enchant the earth and her people with our voices. To sing up the earth, to sing alive our bodies. When we are speaking from the depths of our heart it can build an etheric bridge to the voice of the spirit. Our timeless spirit may speak in a voice unrecognisable to the conscious self. I have spoken to singers who tell me they are often surprised with what comes out when they open their mouths to sing. This voice may be strange to your ears, it may not carry your accent from your current lifetime. It may be beyond accent, beyond the linguistic heritage of family and country.

Often in medicine sessions, I hear this strange and queer voice, sometimes whispering, sometimes deep and loud. The more I hear Her the more I have come to love and trust this voice that does not obey my mind. A voice that is not always pretty and sometimes beyond words – pure sound. Don’t let shyness or the risk of sounding ‘silly’ block the ancestral voice. Your spirit is ageless and unique and your voice is an instrument to communicate it’s message.

Imagine if any one of these incredible singers had held back in any way…we would be the poorer for not receiving the full expression of their gift.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpiFmZLICgM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrCQbrFCQ1I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKsSbI6cRx0

Spirit Dolls Made in our Workshop!

Spirit Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

One of my favourite things about teaching dollmaking is to see the photos of the dolls made during and after our gatherings. This month we held a full moon doll workshop in the forest and look at the results! How amazing are these dolls?!  

Their new dollmakers also received many messages and assistance for their own path even when they created dolls for their loved ones. That's the beauty of creating with intention to give to another - we receive the blessing too.  And I particularly love that the tradition is already being passed on to the families and children of the participants - weaving the new circle. Thank you to everyone who joined us in our dollmaking circle in the forest and thank you to Louise, Lee, Robyn and Eliene for sharing photographs and stories of your beautiful dolls and their healing stories. We will hold our next dollmaker circle early in the new year.

The dolls above and below were created by Louise. The doll above was made during our workshop:

'Meet Fireya resting in my beautiful elephants ear plant. She brings messages of courage and trust to all who walk their own path," Louise.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

The dolls above and below were created by Lee. Lee created the doll above for her friend Betsy in our workshop:

'I feel her message is about making yourself a priority and from that all will flow. I loved learning with you, thank you again for sharing,' Lee.

And below are the dolls that Lee created with her youngest daughter Lilia. Lilia's doll is the one in blue - she's so wise and beautiful Lilia, thank you for sharing!

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

Meet Daisy and Monkey - medicine dolls created by Robyn. She made a doll for herself in the workshop and a doll for her husband Geoff when she got home and is looking forward to creating dolls for her children.

"Here is the start of our family. Meet Daisy again and Monkey. This is Geoff's doll. He's a lovely wizard that wears the earth as a coat. His coat bears ocean and earth, cloud, lightening and storms, yet underneath on his base there is a peace symbol to represent all the calmness. His heart is the sun which is full of love and radiates across the world. Geoff has always been my personal weather man. He has a magic citrine wand on a staff of sage  sticks and wears a Tibetan sanskrit writing pendant of hung meaning walk the talk. Inside there is a turquoise to help speak the truth with love and integrity, herbs for sleeping, bottlebrush for changes,purple peace symbol for inner peace and tolerance, skin herbs for healthy skin. Thanks again. Daisy is Strong and her medicine has been working with instant effect,' Robyn.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop

And finally we share 2 potent medicine dolls created by Eliene. The doll above was created for her beloved, Catherine.

'Hi Julia, I loved the workshop... the doll I started at the workshop changed a lot over the next 24 hours. During this time she told me that was The Herbalist. She became rugged up (scarfs etc) and I knew she came from a very cold country... Catherine loves her. The one for myself didn't as for any more than rose leaves. Her spirit is strong. Thanks for the experience as I am enjoying connecting with my inner child...' Eliene.

Medicine Doll made at Sacred Familiar workshop