Asha's Swan Blessing Story - BoneWoman

Susan Seddon Boulet

Today I share with you Asha's Swan Blessing story of past life Ancestral Medicine.

There are many reasons why we block and resist opening full connection to Ancestral Medicine again. Sometimes the medicine we have access to is so ancient and unknown to the mind that it frightens us. It may also carry the bindings of memories of carrying these gifts in times when it was dangerous and misunderstood. Many witches, healers and shaman were persecuted for possessing healing medicine that was viewed by a later religion as evil. The seeds of Ancestral Medicine are ancient and indigenous to the land they were birthed through, but these lands may not be where you find yourself living now and the wisdom needed to understand your medicine may not be available to you in your current environment or family.

When Asha came to me, she came with a heavy fury and pain. She also came carrying deep shame from lifetimes of believing that she had been the cause of a terrible and traumatic event. Asha's medicine in another lifetime was that of BoneWoman and Midwife. In this lifetime Asha had been drawn again to shamanic midwifery but was experiencing great pain and confusion when she sat with her sisters. In journeying back to the point of Soul Loss and closing down of her medicine, Asha saw that she'd lived in a time of high infant mortality and was a healer from the forest who was looked on with fear as she came not to birth the baby but to save the mother after the baby had died and heal the baby's soul and spirit through bone magic. Like many female healers, Asha experienced being blamed for the illness and 'bad luck' in her village and was made to watch as her sisters were murdered for her supposed crime. This led Asha to make the Sacred Vow to close down her Medicine and close her heart to Love.

This Swan Blessing was painful for Asha but so very beautiful in it's healing and return to Love. Asha gifts her Swan story to us here to help anyone else who may be resonating with these feelings.

"Her eyes are dark, black like ink. Thick black eye brows snake to a sculpted nose and her hair like coal rests heavy down her breasts.  

She is enraged, I feel it in my body, a hot convulsion, a shudder behind my brow, thick in my throat. But she trusts me, she trusts me and she reaches out her hands and I fall quickly and wholly through the inky pools of her eyes. I am in a dusty street, and alley between square earthen homes. Little stalls line the street and although it is not overy busy I cannot see her. Then it is that I glimpse her, see her walking briskly, almost, almost running, her scarf and clothes conspiring in the shadow of the buildings to conceal her almost completely. We come to a door way and when I enter at first I cannot see. There is a smell of death and metal. I cannot decide if I am in a home or the halls of a sort of hospital, not as I know it, but there is a long dark hall and I feel if not see many rooms. I feel other midwives, and also I don't and then we are in the room and my eyes have adjusted, just, and there is a mess. Blood and sweat and tears and the echo of pain to great to bear drench the air. A metalic stench. The mother, thick and heavy with her body's outpourings, past screams that have racked her body, and her hallow moans are all the worse for their subdued volume. A liquid is given, brought I assume by my dark eyed self but it is not she who holds it to her lips. Her entire focus is elsewhere. The babe stuck and dead.  

I watch her a long time. I think she wants me to know what it took. The physicality, her whole body wrenching from the woman's now limp one the the dead babe. Every thing she had. And more. And the numbness necessary. A resigned determination. Or a determinded resignation. She does not know if the mother will live, and in this very moment, in a certain way, she does not care, and the babe is too long dead. But she must pull it free. All she knows is that she must. And then it is done. There is a chaos in the room but we are removed from it all. No one looks at her. No one looks at the baby. No one looks at us. Too many dead babies.  

We are in the forest. A very small clearing created from the felling of one tree on whose stump rests something important. Show me, and she does, but it comes slowly. There are bones. For a long time all I see is the bones. As she moves them I understand she has collected them. Here is the skeleton of a rabbit. A deer. At first I do not understand. Teach me. She carefully aranges each bone to form the skeleton of the creature it once was. But one bone, one bone she takes from the baby. One bone she replaces. And then she breathes on the bones. She breathes the breath the babe never took. She breathes it into the rabbit bones until they breathe themselves. The rabbit lives, and the child lives in the rabbit. In the deer, in the birds of the forest. She is calm. She is sad but she knows what to do.  

She is old. She is so old. She is bitter. So bitter. I shake with her rage and she tastes like poison, like bile, yellow, green, black. The front of my body rots from it. And I ask her why. And she shows me. There is blood. There is blood. And there are limbs. Pieces, pieces, pieces of them. Mothers, daughters, sisters, midwives. They are hacked. They are hacked. They are hacked. And their blood pools and she is held. She is held by hard rough hands and arms, it takes many to hold her. There is an arm thick with muscle with soft blonde hairs. But they make her watch. They make her watch what she has done. They tell her this is her fault. The blood. The faces. The pieces. What do they call her? Witch. 

And it shivers though our spine. And it shivers through our time. I have to fly above it to understand what cannot be understood. But she is held in place. All she can see are those she has killed. She is old again and she coughs up the binding like stale phlegm. I will not help. I will never help again. What I know her to say is, I will not love. I will not heal. I will not love again. She binds her love and her healing gifts. I go to her. With my heart I see her. With my heart I understand. And I love her. I forgive her. And I tell her we are free. 

Our soul family comes, her sister midwives, and we are shocked, because they welcome her, they love her with open arms, here are her sisters who died, whose deaths we feel responsible for. But they do not ask us to hold this pain. They ask us to let ourselves be forgiven. And they become light like balloons, light like feathers, and she is rabbit, she is deer and she bounds into the forest. I cry for us because we are welcomed. We are welcomed home. We are welcomed back into love.  

I am as heavy as she is light. The daughter comes to me. I see my binding, it is arms. It is hands wraped around my torso. It is metal shackles on my ankles. The daughter comes to me and she hands me a scythe, the same one, and I shudder, but I hack away the hands that bind, and when they fall I slice smoothly through the metal on my ankles, the chain crumbles into dust. But the real work is the poison. The daughter puts her mouth to mine and she sucks the poison. She sucks and she sucks and she is serpent and woman and she sucks and she sucks. And she is done. Except there is something left. I spit out the last bit of bitterness.   

We are free. 

And I, I am safe to love again."  


Deer Julia,I have felt profoundly this releasing. I am feeling more whole and more held in this life. And I can see today swan and in her gentle permeance. Gliding on the rivers of my journey. I have called in my sisters when I have felt my need, and they have come. And I feel them, all the women who have chosen to love me in this life. All the women who have chosen to love me in many lives. And I am releasing my shame. And in allowing myself to receive this love, allowing myself to be part of this cycle, allowing myself to love, I am coming to the freedom to be more and more alone. More all-one. Asha, 2014

Thank you Asha for sharing your heart and your story, oceans of love for the gentle holding of your beautiful medicine again, love Julia x

Robyn's Swan Blessing Story - Sacred Vow to Hide the Healer

Far From Home - Morgan Weistling
Today I share Robyn's Swan Blessing past life story of her Vow to Hide the Healer - to not let anyone know who she truly was. This fear of persecution is one of the strongest ties that binds us and stop us from stepping into spiritual and healing work again in our current lifetime. I was very touched by Robyn's courage to face this fear and was thrilled to see her rapid transformation after she released her spirit from this heavy vow. I hope that in the telling of Robyn's own story, it helps those who are also feeling this same fear to realise that this vow is ancient and does not belong with your spirit in this time of change and rise of the Sacred Feminine. I hope it helps you to feel that you are not alone and that you can come out of the shadows and into community with your sisters and brothers again.
Thank you Robyn and we are so happy to see the unveiling of your Wise Medicine here in this world again.

As I looked into the well I became a seven year old girl with long sandy brown hair in plats. All around  was forest. Beautiful majestic trees that were as high as the sky. I  was met by a lady, but could only see her curly, dark auburn red hair.  She was wearing an emerald green cloak made of raw silk. It was stunning and shiny.  I couldn't see her face through the shadow of the hood.  I felt we were mother and child. She beckoned me to follow her and seemed very excited to show me something. We were skipping and running with such excitement and freedom through the forest.
We came to a clearing in the trees where there were some people in a circle surrounding a fire. They were pagans, all holding hands chanting blessings to the earth. I could see their shapes in white with no defining marks. The only defining vision was a giant rabbit joined in amongst the people, my mother and myself. We joined the circle and began to become one with earth and all the people. We prayed for healing of the world, for peace, for the sick, for all in need. We were healers, shamans and in an age where this belief could have you branded and killed as a witch. 
Suddenly there were screams and men attacking us with sticks, breaking up the circle and beating anyone they could catch. As we fled into the forest they grabbed my mother. They pulled us apart, our arms stretched out for one last chance of touch. I  watched as my mother was carried away screaming and kicking holding her arms out to me. I was crying out for her with no hope.  I had to hide until it was safe to emerge. As I looked up, a hand reached out for me. It was a man who had come to help. He took me to a secret place where we were allowed to be free and safe. We all lived together in harmony with nature and continued to heal. They taught me the ways of nature and how to use the powers that I possessed. 
I grew into a tall, stunning looking woman that walked tall and proud hiding my deep secrets. I  was a healer with such powers that I could heal with a single smile or glance. I had my secret kept deep within, not sharing through fear of being killed.  I healed from afar. I was living in a Scandinavian town on the edge of the forest. Nobody knew who I was, but I had respect. 
When it was time to see my binding I felt a huge rope coil around my entire body much like a snake would strangle their prey. I was bound with this rope with a giant knot in my mouth. The knot represented how I swore to never discuss my secret within. Never to let anyone know I am a healer.  Then my mother was reunited with me to show me I was safe. As she put out her arms for me, a feeling of love and peace shot through my entire body. Then my ropes were cut and they fell to the ground. The young girl was free to talk her truth. No more silence, no more fear, I too am free.
After my blessing the Swan circled above with the sun behind her. She came low enough to pick me up and carry me away.  I embraced her with gratitude for allowing me to take this journey. I felt safe with her as she flew through the perfect sky, then spiraled down and around to land in the dam paddock of my home. A home I can now appreciate and feel settled and safe in from this day forward. 
What an amazing experience. The most interesting guided meditation I have ever done. The emotion that was experienced was so intense inside my heart, but was finally put at peace through this magical healing. Having picked some cards Julia described exactly where I was in my heart. I was feeling trapped with my strong spiritual belief having to remain a secret, through fear of being persecuted, criticized and judged.  At the end of the day, my choice to be who I am truly within my heart was being ignored, leaving me untrue to myself and my life as who I am today. 
I believe more and more in past lives and at times have had some amazing things happen to convince me even more again. I have always had a yearning to be in India. It was a place where one of my many spiritual steps were taken and where I have always felt at home and allowed to embrace spirituality. I have always felt a strong connection to India through family history, past and present, but also in the heart.  In India, people show you respect for your strong belief.  Monks, nuns and Holy men are looked up to and never persecuted. My past lives as a holy being were many and I was loved and respected for who I was. This was making it hard to settle in my own home, a paradise surrounded by nature. A place that people come to enjoy and relax. But for me, no, India felt like home.  For a while now I had the feeling that my beliefs and abilities  should be kept secret, as judgements and criticisms I have had to face from opening my heart to people have felt so unfair. I am not cuckoo or going to hell, I am an amazing being with a lot to share. Life is good! 
So a couple of days pass. I start to see visions of my past again. This time, I recognize my mother. She isn't my maternal mother from this life as I originally thought, she is Judy, healer I bump into on occasion. In my Scandinavian life, Judy is my mother. Judy is also the healer that helped me on a few occasions. She turns up at the right time. A lovely lady I have always felt like I should get to know better, but has never had the chance. First thing the next morning After this visit to Melbourne my family all went to our chiropractor for our regular adjustment. We hadnt seen a single soul in town before entering the clinic. Guess who were the patients before us, Judy and her husband Jack. I hadn't seen them for over 18 months and now I feel its time to get to know them better. I think I have a new teacher. 
Thank you Julia and Tony for helping me find peace. Look forward to another magical experience with you both.  Robyn, 2013

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